Everything here is Amazing

Machiavell me,
make an Argentine Rose

this is just a personal reminder to myself that the black boy is going to be named Ratouille-Noir and my orange goddess is going to be named Primrose Diva-Lou

the-ever-so-odious:

Dear everyone on tumblr and in the world, today marks a very special day, a day so beautiful and wondrous and full of dreams reborn, TODAY, marks the date of birth of my ONE AND ONLY FRIEND, KAYLA [last name withheld]. A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR SHE HAS MADE IT ANOTHER YEAR ON THIS HORRIBLE DESOLATE ROCK WE CALL PLANET EARTH. Which is more than what a lot of people can say these days. SO HERE’S A MODERN TAKE ON AN OLD FAVOURITE: PICTURES OF KAYLA AND THINGS SHE LIKES THAT TOOK A WHOLE 10 MIN + TO MAKE.

And believe it or not, Kayla, but this isn’t even your birthday present NOT EVEN CLOSE. Because I’m looking at it right now, and I have to say that if you weren’t my only friend and I was a little bit more of a sociopath, I would definitely take this present as my own and give you like a broccoli instead, because it is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all month. HAD JESUS RISEN ON THIS DAY, HE WOULD HAVE COME AND BLESSED THIS PRESENT FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS COLD, UNDEAD, ZOMBIE HEART AW

SO WITH THAT I TRULY WISH YOU, KAYLA, THE DEEPEST, MOST SINCEREST, HEARTFELT, HONEST, DEVOUT,

hbd

With greatest condolences,

[Name withheld]

WHAT HAHAHAHAHA. so this is me in all my photogenic glory, truly the best birthday wish I’ve ever received. I’m honored to have such a beautiful collage made.  This is great because now I never have to utter another word to someone if they want to know who I am… I’LL JUST SHOW THEM THIS AND THEY’LL IMMEDIATELY UNDERSTAND THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL.

this turns my birthday tears of sadness into birthday tears of friendship

ok so this is just me and some of my mans that I needed on here. unfortunately I only own the Lord Beta, Pimp Negress Blimp Puss and the Supa-Fyne k9. although the rat king, gorilla babies and hyena models are my future family friends THAT I WILL SURELY ACQUIRE SOON DON’T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMZ

the-ever-so-odious:

Operation butternut squash soup; a success story: the trials and tribulations of two attractive famous aspiring top celebrity chefs: a documentation of the human spirit.

This is a soup that needs to be heard. I am so much stronger and healthier after eating that soup. soups4life

Hi frienz

Hi frienz

Christmas has changed me

Christmas has changed me

HAIR PORN